Cruel Intentions

To Whom It May Concern,
I'd like to take this time to acknowledge your character that's been projected in the media, and to quip how annoying and outlandish I find your lawsuit to be. Just so you can hear how ridiculous you sound, as of right now you're attempting to sue a dry cleaners for presenting you with the wrong pair of trousers, after losing your original pair. Despite the fact they found your beloved pants-that you seem to have an unhealthy relationship with-you proceeded to SUE these poor South Korean immigrants for a fee of $54 million dollars! Are you hearing this!? According to yourself, you're suing on the grounds that satisfaction was not guaranteed-even though you GOT your pants back in the same week-and during this time you suffered "emotional distress."

This is the part where I, and hopefully the rest of America step up and acknowledge that you are a completely pompous jackass that has nothing better to do than waste the time and money of yourself, the store owners(who are basically broke now thanks to you) and not to mention that of officials/lawyers/judges, and the news media as a whole.

The fact that you have proceeded to now only request 2.5 million dollars does not make you a martyr or place you any higher in the eyes of people who have been forced to listen to your sob story. Perhaps you should go to Africa or better yet the Congo and find out what real emotional distress feels like. Maybe then your superficial trousers won't seem so significant.
You should Be Ashamed of Yourself,
J