Dear Life

Dear ex-girlfriend:

Why can't you not exist? Why did my boyfriend date you for 2 months, and think for a time that you were right for him? You weren't. And now you have your own boyfriend (I know that because of reasons I refuse to come clean with) and you two don't speak. Good. Keep it that way. I don't want to ever see your yellow-teeth ugly-bangs face again. K? K.

Signed-
His much-hotter & awesome girlfriend.

-A